it scares me that you never know what someone is thinking or feeling towards you and everything that they say could be one massive lie
lets see if i can knock it out in one try.too tired to write, but want to jot these down before they become vague.
so we met for mid day drinks.
i get there a few minutes early, feeling extra fresh,cause the clothes fits just right and the sun is shinin bright.
never wear long sleeves in the summer.
i started sweating, i couldnt tell if it was from the sun rays turning me a darker shade of brown or the nervous jitters that ensues when your meeting someone new.
so i find a the designated meet up place, i had never been.
as i walk in, my body adjusts.
my eyes shoot the light from the dark as it struggles to adjust indoors. my body adjusting from the rays to conditioned chills.throw in the nervousness and i was just about to pass out from the rush of emotions, the senses .playing games with me.
and so my heart is pumpin at a rapid rate…..my mind races and races, would she received me as i had pictured in my head?
where the hell is she!?!?
my eyes adjusting didnt allow me to see anyone in the coffee shop.
and there she was. speaking to the barista, shes got that about her. not curious but modest, she doesnt care what you’ve been doing , but if you want to tell her, she’ll listen politely. throwing a sly smile my way
her hair still wet from a shower im assuming, i hope. :)
do we hug, do we hand shake , ? maybe a head nod? overthink a bit. i may have. should i pay, should i not,?
…..man since when did i not know how to act around a woman…..
seems like the type doesnt depend on anyone for anything.
we drank coffee and we sat.
we were there for 2 hours but it felt like 2 minutes.
we talked about the killers, the cure, sibling rivalry, mothers and fathers, religion, school, our goals , our aspirations…where we’ve been and where were going.
and after stealing glances from eachother, we both wished we had met just a week sooner? a month? a year?
………we’d been at the same school for the longest time, had the same group of friends, but for some reason or another…..we never crossed paths.
until now. a week before i was set to leave.
its funny when it happens like that.
but it happened like that.
we had the “greatest expectations”…..she walked me to the streetlight off of bellflower blvd. where all the greats once stood.
…..i’ve never had someone walk me to anywhere. almost as if shes was attempting to make this seem less than it really was.
thats okay. at the time. i took it for what it was.
a meeting for mid day drinks…
she said good luck.
i said you too.
dont be a stranger, and she said i wont.
………………………………………………………and thats the way it is.
the way it was.
and now im here. in this deadmans town.
sitting in an empty room with these pictures of you in my head..